“Oh no, please, not another Mary Sue”
by Gabilileinchen
Summary: All right, here a corrected version. Thanks to Velaineil. I changed the title a little bit.


Hi everybody. This is real life meets Middle- earth. Some people appear in Middle Earth, what do they want from the fellowship and what will they do to get it? Here is now a corrected version. Special Thanks to my beta reader Velaineil  
  
"Oh no, please, not another Mary Sue"  
  
Every evening she repeats her mantra "I wish I was in Middle-earth", untill  
she falls asleep.  
  
Slowly she opened her eyes and groaned. She was so tired who the hell had woken her? The face which hung over her own needed a few seconds to be processed by her brain.  
  
His hair was long for a man's, wavy, a little bit greasy with blood and dirt mixed in. He had blue eyes, pinched lips, skin tanned and worn by the elements, and a beard, which emphasized the dimple in his chin. There was no way! She didn´t know this man. Why was he in her room, leaning over her bed? Carefully she looked down at the body connected to the face. It was strong and muscular. His clothes, made from leather and coarse wool, were torn and dirty, and his hands were pressed against the ground where her shoulders lie- on the ground?!  
  
The silver shining necklace didn't fit his look. But now she suspected who he was. "Good morning, Aragorn!" she greeted the ranger. He got quite a fright and stepped back from her. The people around him took their chance to have a look at her. Her intuition didn't cheat her. Where else could you meet these people? There was, standing in front of her, a ranger, an old man with a long beard and a big hat, a grim looking man who resembled the ranger, but instead of a leathershirt, he wore a red shirt with an intricate design and carried a round shield. There was also a dwarf with an axe and a helmet, four little boys with curly hair, one of them seemed to be worried, and an extremely good looking blond elf- she was in Middle- earth!!!  
  
Because Aragorn had lost his composure, Gandalf began to question her. "Why do you know his name? Who are you and what are you doing here?"  
  
She made her I'm just a little girl, I can't be bad or anything like that face and answered innocently "Gandalf, why I shouldn't know your names? You're famous. If I can rely on the fan fictions, you should know other people like me, especially you." She pointed at Legolas.  
  
The elf, who had looked pale the whole time, became whiter. "Oh no, please, not another one", he breathed, despaired.  
  
"You know this shameless woman? Tell us who she is! Is she sent by Sauron?" shouted Boromir.  
  
By shameless he probably meant her nightdress which showed more than hide (because it was so hot at home). Stubborn, she stretched seductively.  
  
"A Gentleman would have given his coat to me." Eight coats were thrust at her from eight directions. Smileing at Boromir's offended look, she wrapped herself in Legolas's cloak, which was not as dirty as the others.  
  
The fellowship then turned back to Legolas, who was forced to explain the situation: "For several years young girls have been occasionally appearing in Lorien or at my home. They say they came from another world and after a few days they disappear suddenly. But please, don't ask me, what she meant with fan fikshons." The fellowship looked down at the strange girl under the tree. She grinned.  
  
"I'm afraid", said Pippin.  
  
"Hey little man, I'm not going to hurt you. Although this adventure, you won't be hurt very much at all", she consoled him.  
  
"You know what we want to do?", asked the ranger as he found his composure again.  
  
"Sure, everybody knows what you are expected to do. JRR Tolkien has written three books about your journey and Peter Jackson had made three films about you. And there are a lot of people who write fan fictions about you."  
  
"Books, films, fan fikshons- what are fan fikshons?" asked the confused magician.  
  
She started to explain "Fan fictions are stories written by inexperienced writers that told further tales about written books or films. I think nearly all books and films that are Fantasy or Science fiction have some fan fiction stories. Some authors like it, some don't. And after two films are shown in cinema, almost everyone knows what Middle-Earth is and who you are. There are three basic kinds of fan fiction. One tells your life before and after the journey. Another changes your journey a little bit by inventing a new character in this fellowship. And the last fan fiction is dreams of the writers. They're the "real life" meets Middle-earth. And the character of the writer could seduce the man, or elf, dwarf, hobbit, and even occasionally wizard, who she likes."  
  
That made Boromir his prick up his ears "Stop, who is the most seduced person in this fellowship?".  
  
She expected this question. Men are all equal. Every time they want to compare themselves and find out who is the best, they always compare by who gets the most girls... "Well, if you really want to know." They agreed. "Gandalf is too old. Most girls don't want to seduce him." Gandalf breathed relieved. How could he satisfy a young girl? He liked boys more, anyway. "Gimli and the Hobbits were too sweet and small. I admit, small people could achieve places you don't noticed on your body, but-"  
  
Gimli cut her off "Sweet and small. Nobody calls a dwarf sweet and small", he grumbled in his beard.  
  
The Hobbits weren't upset about the name she had given them. Plus, they all had girlfriends at home and they didn't want to cheat them.  
  
"Well, Boromir, all right. He is - oh I can't say this. But there were fewer girls who want to seduce him." Boromir looked highly affronted.  
  
" Aragorn the ranger, a muscular, handsome and good looking stranger. But he's got a girlfriend and not many girls want to be responsible for an argument between you and Arwen." She nodded at him before turning to Legolas.  
  
"There is only one person left. Elves attracted humans for an eternity. And he is such a handsome, tall elf." She looked at him with yearning and want in her eyes. His face blushed with shame.  
  
He had known this. Such girls were always terrible. He was sure she wanted to tell more embarrassing secrets.  
  
"There is one good aspect here in Middle-earth. I have the control of my surroundings and now you are disturbing me!" 16 confused eyes disappeared, and she was alone with the elf. Seductively the cloak glided from her body. She knew men react in the same way every time. She had a very interesting night.  
  
When Legolas woke up, he was at the place where they had camped that morning. The other members of the fellowship didn´t seem to remember what had happened, so he didn't tell them his 'dream'.  
  
She opened her eyes and was in her bed again. The night before had been fantastic. Fortunately the boys didn't want to know her name. She suspected, they would threaten her with their arms, if she had told them her name. The fellowship thought that she wanted her nasty old ring back. Her name was Sauron, but the ring just didn't fit her style. 


End file.
